Broken Clocks & Goldilocks: Taking a Sabbatical in Your 30s

Beyoncé once said “you won’t break my soul” and you know what? I felt that! This song debuted a little over a year after the day I thought my soul was indeed (actually) broken. This particular day I woke up frozen. Nothing was physically wrong, but all I could muster up the energy to do was sit up in bed and cry. My husband made the executive decision that neither of us would be going to work that day. Instead, he drove us to my parents’ house so that I could soak up some motherly love. That was what I needed that day, and I called out the next day too for good measure. From that day on I could no longer deny that I was dealing with work burnout. In the words of SZA “Run fast from my day job, runnin fast from the wait it was. All I got is these broken clocks. I ain’t got no time, just burnin’ day light.” Needless to say, I knew something had to change. So, at the start of the next year I officially launched my Goldilocks Era. 

Just Right

What’s a “Goldilocks Era” you ask? Well, I basically decided to stop going above and beyond at work. Instead, I decided I would work at a pace and level that was “just right.” No more and no less. When I realized I was dealing with burnout I took a look around and noticed that even on my worst days I was overproducing. So, I told my best friend and we committed to really living in our “Goldilocks Era” for all of 2023. Also, just to clarify, I’m not fan of Goldilocks. Home girl was overstepping boundaries like it was her full-time job! However, her affinity for things to be just right I can get with.

A Fork in the Road

After a year of practicing this, I applied it to every area of my life. While it did help tremendously it didn’t cure my burnout. What it did do, however, was open my eyes. It opened my eyes to the fact that the work burnout was more than just burnout. It was a fork in the road. A question of do I stay or do I go? Staying was the most comfortable yet painful choice. Leaving was the scarier yet more aligned choice. So, I set out to research what quitting or at least taking an extended break might look like. If you checked my YouTube and TikTok search history back then it would be filled with “I quit my job” videos. That’s where I discovered the idea of taking a sabbatical.

What does sabbatical mean?

Sabbatical is a word I had only previously associated with taking off a year before college to travel or middle age career break to travel. Basically, I thought travel was the point of a sabbatical. For clarity here’s what Merriam Webster has to say about the meaning of sabbatical: 

Sabbatical: a break or change from normal routine (as of employment).

A break is exactly what I needed. For years I had been hitting a wall and my body and mind kept screaming at me to take a break. Not just a few days or even weeks off of work, but a substantial amount of time. 

How do you know if you need a sabbatical? 

Knowing if or when you need to take sabbatical is different for everyone. For me it was noticing that all of my days seemed a bit dull. I felt like I was just going through the motions. I think 2020 took a toll on us all, but even before that I was dealing with burnout. 2020 just sped up how extreme it felt. I was feeling numb to a lot of things. I was having the Monday scaries every day, not just on Sunday. I did not feel safe and I couldn’t enjoy anything. That’s how I knew that a sabbatical was becoming more and more of something I needed to do and not just something I wanted to do. For a little more context. Here’s a little about my background. I’m the eldest daughter. I look like I have it all together. I’ve been in honor classes most of my life. I went to college and got my bachelor’s and immediately turned around and got to masters. Over achiever much? Sound like you, too? Unfortunately, that’s the story of many women of color. The good news is we get to rewrite those stories. So here are some ways to know you may need to take a sabbatical: 

• Feeling out of alignment or stuck
• Wanting to try something new
• Experiencing work burnout 
• Major mood and health changes
• Neglecting your personal life

I never thought I would actually take a break from working all together. I figured I’d just find a new job that was less stressful or make it big from a side hustle so that I could quit. Even though I didn’t think I’d actually take a sabbatical, I had been planning for it all along. 

A Brief Note About Burnout

Burnout is running rampant worldwide. So, let’s get into exactly what burnout is and what the statistics say about it. As of 2019 the World Health Organization (WHO) categorized burnout, more specifically work burnout, as a syndrome in the ICD-11. According to WHO, “Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed“ (source). The American Psychology Association’s 2023 Work in America Survey revealed that 57% percent of workers said they experienced negative impacts due to work-related stress associated with burnout (source). I think it’s also important to note and probably not surprising to hear that women, in particular, experience higher rates of burnout. 

How do you plan for a sabbatical?

Now that you have some context, let’s get back to how I planned for my sabbatical. When I got my first full time job I had one goal – to not live paycheck to paycheck. Outside of student loans I did not have any debt. So, starting with my first check I decided that I would make $500 my zero. Meaning after bills I would give myself an amount to spend, but no matter what I would not allow my account to get lower than $500. I added to this amount monthly. My new “zero” was always growing. This was in 2012, but that goal of not living paycheck to paycheck meant I was building a pretty nice sized emergency fund and some sinking funds. I’m naturally a proactive person, and I’m so thankful that 2012 Kelley made it so that 2025 Kelley could leave her job. 

I think the biggest thing for most people when it comes to considering a sabbatical is the financial piece. So here are some tips and suggestions for planning for your own sabbatical: 

• Decide how long you’d like to take a sabbatical for
• Calculate how much you need to have to take care of yourself without stress (include money for bills, emergencies, and fun)
• If you are a 2-income household consider practicing living on one income
• Open a high yield savings account to keep your emergency fund in
• Consider starting a side hustle to bring in more income to speed up your saving
• Pay off as much debt as possible

There are so many other tips, but the list above has some places you can start. Honestly, even if you’re not considering taking a sabbatical, it can never hurt to plan for one anyway!

What do you do on a sabbatical? 

The biggest benefit of a sabbatical is being able to do whatever you want. It’s like starting from a clean slate and building something totally new. Before I quit my job, I thought about what my schedule might look like once I was no longer working full time. I knew this would be a very big change for me. So, here’s a secret I haven’t told anyone – I got a life coach! I wanted to get out of the driver’s seat and allow myself not to have all of the answers out of the gate. I wanted to be guided. So, after lurking on the internet for years I decided on my life coach because I find her style to be direct, but nurturing and that’s exactly what I knew I needed. I don’t like a lot of fluff. Another thing I love about her…she has all the resources and I’m definitely a resource girly! Going on a sabbatical means you get to make the rules. If you’re thinking of taking a sabbatical take some time to write out all of the things you wish you could do, but feel you can’t do right now. Add those to your list of things to explore while on sabbatical. If you’re drawing a blank check out areas you may want to explore during your sabbatical below.

Here areas to explore and things you can do on your sabbatical:

• Rest 

The thing that has taken the biggest hit over the last 12 years for me has been my sleep. So physical rest was a big thing I wanted to focus on. That mean getting a sleep schedule, exploring sleep technology, and monitoring my sleep. If you are taking a sabbatical out of necessity than it’s likely our mind, body, and spirit need rest. Think sleep, decreasing social media use, and taking breaks. There are so many types of rest. Take some time to explore which type of rest you need most.

• Recover

After I started working with my life coach she mentioned the idea of recovery. I had never considered that I was in need of recovery, but after she said it something clicked. I didn’t just need rest, but I needed to heal things like my health, my imagination, and so many other things. I think of recovery like reconnecting with your body and environment.

• Realign

If your life is feeling out of alignment like mine did when I decided to take a sabbatical then that may be a sign that realigning is in order. When it comes to getting your life in alignment you might focus on things like your values, habits, rhythms and routines. These are the building blocks of your day-to-day life and are worth reviewing.

• Explore

One of the things I was most excited about was being able to explore all of the things I felt I couldn’t while working my 9 – 5. I’ve been focusing on exploring my interests, skills, and hobbies. If you’re on a sabbatical or considering taking one these could be a starting point of exploration for you too. 

Who do I have to tell about my sabbatical? 

You don’t have to tell a soul! Seriously! I didn’t hard launch my sabbatical. It was more of a soft launch. I didn’t tell everyone right away. I told people over time. Doing this allowed me to really ease into my sabbatical without outside thoughts, opinions, or pressure. I’d highly suggest this if you’re struggling with the idea of quitting a job or going on a sabbatical. The biggest thing to remember is that you don’t owe anyone an explanation for doing what’s right for you.

What I’ve been learning so far?

I’m learning how to show up for myself. I’m getting reacquainted with my imagination. I’m building a new relationship with time. I’m exploring interests and reassessing values. I’m learning to be okay with the fact that figuring it out is something we’ll all be doing for the rest of our lives. I’m learning how to make that fun and not scary. I’m playing. I’m creating. I’m finding my rhythm.

What I hope to gain?

In the end I hope to gain freedom. Freedom in how I operate. More freedom in the choices available to me. Freedom to shift or change at any given moment. I hope that in sharing this journey I can encourage you to put yourself first, take care of yourself, and at the very least, make a habit of taking breaks.